One monumental challenge in learning to read for yourself, whether with tools like tarot, or exercises such as regression and meditation, is the looming burden of doubt as our imaginations scour the possibilities and land tentatively upon conclusions. And before you can grow in this process, there's one reality you must grasp:
Divining personal truth is a radical act.
Society will tell you what you should believe and how you should believe it. Deviations from established cultural "truth" is an act of fanaticism. We don't come to terms with this reality, and for that reason, doubt remains a burden we can't push past on our spiritual journey. What I'm trying to say is this: you must own your rebellion if you are going to establish personal truth for yourself. Understand fully your act of deviation and get comfortable. We are journeying into the wild unknown. We will trip and land on our face. But we will also stumble upon knowledge we didn't have before, and our human experience will be heightened and enriched. Embrace your difference with courage!
You have to divorce yourself from everyone else. You must stop looking for validation in others, in their faces, in their personal narratives, in their actions and words, and in their sanctions of your behavior. We often believe we need others to condone us and journey with us, but personal truth is found alone. This psychological dependency upon others and the subsequent loss of self creates the greatest blockage to spiritual insight. First, you must determine:
Who are You?
That's a simple question, and almost impossible to answer, right? Have you spent some time connecting to your essence? Could you deduce your energy to a few key words? What would those words be? You must spend some time here, dwelling with the self, in order to divine your truths with confidence. You need faith and peace to build a dependable identity. You find faith by sorting out what you believe. You find peace by identifying what you fear.
What Do You Believe?
I would say nearly every faith is beautiful and offers us connection to something better than this world. Connection to the divine is critical to our strength and confidence. What you believe isn't nearly as important as your act of believing it. And the more your beliefs align with love, peace, harmony and growth, the more confident you will become in your own discernment. Not everything you believe will be literally true, but that isn't actually what's important. What's important is that you know yourself, and that you build your identity through narratives. As we develop and grow, these narratives might change, even dramatically. But they always had value because they granted us the orientation to see ourselves through our spiritual eyes.
What Do You Fear?
Finding peace is dependent on finding clarity. Being able to accurate identify our fears is the first step to clearing our mind and soul of the clutter that blocks our intuition. What are you truly afraid of? What gives you anxiety? What prevents you from living the life you want? These are valuable questions that lead toward a path of peace so that our inner selves can communicate clearly and effectively with Spirit.
So you've pulled a card or two, and you've checked the definition in that vague book, and you just feel lost. A sense of trust is missing in this process. It's okay. We've all been there; even the most gifted readers have these moments. Stop and connect once again: Who are you? What do you believe? What do you fear? Take a breath and look again. The connection to truth is there. It was always there. Seek it with trust.
Melanny Henson Osborn considers herself a Mystic Christian, a seeker of truth, a student of religion, and a spiritual healer. She has two degrees in Creative Writing, including an MFA from Iowa State. She has worked as a professional intuitive reader since 2013. Her gifts are discernment of spirits and prophecy. An astute student of Tarot, she is the author of Art History Tarot for Past Lives.